Forever

Oh babes, where are you right now? How are you doing? Are you ok? Are you happy? I miss you so much...

And it's still you... It's always been you... Hihintayin kita as long as I can... And I know it's gonna be forever.

I love you so much babes... Forever....

Reminders

An old friend from Okinawa is here in my province. She's a US Navy and also her husband, just like my forever... And she got a 1 yr old baby boy which is soooo cute... She invited me to have dinner at their place. Before going there, I feel this some kind of sadness. My forever knows my friend. I just don't wanna see or hear anything that will remind me of him. Then I went to her place and met her husband and her baby. I was trying to avoid the talk about what happened between me and my forever, but i couldn't avoid it for she asked if i've heard from him. I just stayed there for an hour. I wanted to go home and cry. My friend looks so happy and I envy her. I was that happy before... --with my forever.

Haaay... I just wish it would all go away... the memories, the feelings, the pain--- everything!

1st Unspoken Thought

I'm hurting... I want to hate him for doing this to me. He made me believe that everything's gonna be ok, that he loves me, that he'll take care of me, that he'll always be there for me no matter what. I've given him all my hopes and dreams. Then all of a sudden it's all gone. Without knowing why... without any explanation... just nothing.

And I want to hate myself for loving him so much---until now. Even if he's hurt me. I just can't make myself hate him. All I can feel is love and pain.